Archive for the ‘Satire’ Category

Mueller Rents Giant Warehouse to Store Evidence Against Trump

2017/09/19

(New Yorker::The Borowitz Report) – Andy Borowitz:

Robert Mueller is renting a massive warehouse facility in suburban Virginia to accommodate the approximately forty cubic tons of evidence against Donald Trump that the independent counsel’s investigation is generating on a daily basis.

“It’s like a city all its own,” one warehouse worker said. “There are people working in the Michael Flynn section who’ve never met the people working in the Paul Manafort section.” …

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Warehouse

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White House Rejects Supremacist Label

2017/09/14

(New Yorker::The Borowitz Report) – Andy Borowitz:

It’s grossly unfair that Ms. Hill sought to portray Donald Trump as an upholder of white supremacy, when everything he says or does directly undermines that whole concept,” White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders said. “Anyone who thinks that Donald Trump is on some mission to make white people look good hasn’t been paying attention.” …

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Sarah Huckabee Sanders

No Nuclear Code Problem

2017/08/26

(New Yorker::The Borowitz Report) – Andy Borowitz:

Donald J. Trump’s demonstrable inability to spell even the simplest words has reassured many that he lacks the aptitude to correctly enter the nuclear launch codes entrusted to the President of the United States. …

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Donald Trump typing

The Eclipse Conspiracy

2017/08/20

(Atlantic Science) – James Hamblin:

The scientists are all talking like it’s a sure thing.

On August 21, the “moon” will pass between the Earth and the sun, obscuring the light of the latter. The government agency NASA says this will result in “one of nature’s most awe-inspiring sights.” The astronomers there claim to have calculated down to the minute exactly when and where this will happen, and for how long. They have reportedly known about this eclipse for years, just by virtue of some sort of complex math.

This seems extremely unlikely. I can’t even find these eclipse calculations on their website to check them for myself.

Something doesn’t add up. …

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Lunar shadow 2017-08-21

Premises

2017/08/18

(Jesus and Mo) – Barmaid:

“The problem is that the premise upon which you base your worldview – namely that there exists a “holy book” inspired by God – is not only unjustified, but it has a retarding effect on your ethical thinking.” …

jesusandmo think

Jesus and Mo 2017-08-16: Think

Nuclear Armageddon Comedy

2017/08/12

(The Independent::Voices) – Mark Steel:

If we’re to cease as a species in nuclear destruction, it will at least be heartening to know that it was caused by two of the most ridiculous people who ever lived.

Science fiction stories in which the world ends usually involve ferocious dictators who stand on tanks and roar about mighty empires, but this will be like getting wiped out by Keith Chegwin and the bloke off the Yorkshire Broadband advert. …

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Kim Jong-un at missile test

Pence for President

2017/08/11

(New Yorker::The Borowitz Report) – Andy Borowitz:

Vice-President Mike Pence is seriously considering running for President in 1820, various sources confirmed.

According to several prominent Republican donors, Pence is already laying the groundwork for such a campaign, outlining what he believes are the most serious challenges facing 1820 America. …

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Mike Pence

Hacker-Proof Wireless Security

2017/08/06

(Non Sequitur) – Wiley Miller:

Klick klick klika klik-klik ding” …

Non Sequitur 2017-08-06

Wiley Miller: Non Sequitur 2017-08-06: Hacker-Proof Wireless Security

How “Much Ado About Nothing” Should Have Ended

2017/07/28

(Good Tickle Brain) – Mya Gosling:

Sweet, let me see your face. I am your husband, if you like of me.” …

goodticklebrain 2017/7/27 how

Mya Gosling: How “Much Ado About Nothing” Should Have Ended

Things That Aren’t True

2017/07/27

(Jesus and Mo) – Jesus:

“Why does the barmaid hate us?” …

jesusandmo police

Jesus and Mo 2017-07-26: Police